This weekend I visited Center Parcs for the first time. I realise that it is perhaps a little unusual/ ridiculous to never go there as a child and only go as an adult who isn't interested in activities and only wants to get drunk... But still if this is the case for you too, don't be put off... Center parcs drunk is HILARIOUS!
We went on a work trip for the weekend as a team building exercise (i.e drinking, dancing and being silly together) and although I don't normally talk about work on the blog this experience was just too good not to write about!
I think they probably started regretting accepting us about five minutes after we arrived. FYI the cabins are all right next to eachother so if like us you plan on making a lot of noise it might be worth checking who you are housed next to and pre warning them beforehand. There was ten of us intent on causing havoc and we were pretty much hated by the civilised oldies and sports mad families from the word go...
There are far too many hilarious moments from the weekend to tell you about but highlights included vogueing at our reflections in the patio door to Biffy Clyro: Living is a Problem, messing around like big kids on the river rapids, screeching 'Never Forget' at the top of our lungs while watching the Take That tribute act- Take That 2 and getting on stage to do our own rendition of Proud Mary, dance and all while reserved onlookers gasped and tutted!
Yup as I said Center Parcs drunk is hilarious! Heres just a few of the invaluable lessons I learnt along the way...
1. Work team building can be helluva fun!
2. No matter how much you try to pace yourself on the first night of a two night drinking sesh... You will always fail!
3. Going on the wave machine when hungover may seem like a good idea at the time but after three mins of the five minute event you will be seriously regretting it and wondering how the hell you can get out without spewing on that kids head.
4. Take That 2 may not be able to sing or dance in time and may look nothing like the real Take That but purely for their comedy value they are now my new favourite boy band.
5. Performing the dance to Proud Mary on stage to a group of middle aged hen parties and golden oldies will guarantee you a few odd looks.
6. If you ask a drunk East London wide boy 'who they are' at the Center Parcs nightclub they may think you are trying to start a fight...
7. It's probably not a great idea to ask a teenage boy if you can ride tandem on his bike back to the cabins because you can't walk in your heels anymore... His parents might think you are chatting their teenage son up and luring him away
8. And finally... A lot can happen in one weekend at Center Parcs...