Despite the fact that I am now free to talk about my pregnancy with anyone who will listen, I found it rather enjoyable to keep a diary of my thoughts and emotions throughout the first trimester, and decided to keep this going for the second and third trimesters too. It’s a bit of a repeat of what you might have already seen and read on the blog so far, but to be honest I’ve tried hard not to overload my blog with pregnancy news as I know that it isn’t entirely enjoyable to everyone (and perhaps insensitive to those trying or struggling with baby related issues).
I should probably preface this post by saying that I come across as a bit of a moaning Minnie throughout this diary. For various reasons I didn’t enjoy the second trimester of pregnancy all that much and this became my space to rant. I read it back now and I feel like prize idiot, especially considering what I went through really wasn’t that bad and I know many others suffer much worse than I have in their pregnancies and deal with it all wonderfully. I also know that there are those who have had to deal with much worse problems such as losses and infertility, and I really don’t want to come across as insensitive, but I felt it important to leave the diary as it was as these are the things I felt at the time. I do however want to make it clear that I in no way want to belittle anyone else’s experiences by sharing (and moaning about) mine. Despite my moaning, I certainly do know how lucky we are.
PLEASE DO feel free to skip this one if it may upset you in any way or trigger any difficult emotions.
Anyway here goes… (warning – it’s a LOOONG one!)
22nd August 2016
In two days time I will be 14 weeks pregnant and I’m now in the second trimester. Baby is the size of a peach and is growing away nicely. Already this stage feels so different from the first, and I both feel as if I’ve been pregnant forever, and as if I’ve only just found out. For me and GB the journey has already been quite a long one, full of worry and apprehension and nervous excitement. It’s easy to forget, as we begin to tell friends and family our news, that for them it all comes as a complete surprise and that they need time to get used to it just like we did. Getting to feel people’s excitement/shock/disbelief/ happiness is like reliving it all again ourselves and sometimes it feels like we’re right back at the beginning and have just taken that first pregnancy test.
It has been a strange experience, telling people. In some ways it’s such a huge relief to let the secret out and have people there to support and encourage us. But in other ways it’s made it all a bit real, and scary, and nerve-wracking. For two months it’s been our little thing, just me and GB. Our secret to talk about privately and get giddy about behind closed doors. Now suddenly we’re letting everyone else in on that and it’s no longer just ours. I guess it’s because we can finally allow ourselves to believe that it’s real, it’s happening and we will be parents very soon. I can’t wait, honestly, I just want to meet our little one already. But I’m also aware just how much our lives are going to change and that’s pretty scary at times. Occasionally we’ll just be sitting watching TV and I’ll turn to GB and say ‘you’re going to be a Dad in 6 months time’ and we both crack up in a mixture of utter happiness and fear.
The one thing which I wasn’t expecting anyone to ask and funnily enough almost everyone has (aside from parents and aunties who probably don’t want to know) is ‘Was it planned?’ or ‘How long were you trying for?’. I guess I’ve been slightly taken aback by the frequency of these questions, and confused as to exactly how I’m supposed to respond. At the age of 31 and 32, happily married and having been in a loving relationship for over 7 years I really wasn’t expecting anyone to feel the need to know this. What people are really asking is ‘How long have you been knowingly having unprotected sex with your Husband?’ which is a bit of a personal question no? I wasn’t aware we needed to put out a public service announcement on the matter. That aside, we have realised overall that we really are very lucky to have so many loving and supportive people in our lives, all of whom have congratulated us and already began to ask what they can do to help and ask what we need.
In other news I survived my first wedding as a pregnant person this weekend. I managed to find a 60’s style red smock dress that didn’t make me feel like a hephalump, successfully avoided alcohol without people noticing (we hadn’t told those friends yet as the wedding didn’t seem the right place) and I managed to dance the night away and carry numerous young children around the dance floor until the epic time of 10.30pm, after which I was pooped and had to sit down. The combination of not being drunk, and growing a small human inside me, did indeed make it a tiring affair. But I was really glad to be there and spend time with friends, and do normal things that didn’t have anything to do with pregnancy, even if I did need a few naps the next day to make up for it! Definitely still waiting for my energy to come back – isn’t that supposed to happen in the second trimester?
I have a slightly quieter week this week, work wise, and then we’re off to see my parents up in Scotland this coming weekend which I can’t WAIT for.
31st August 2016
Ugh… pregnancy isn’t being kind to me right now. You know those women who say how much they love being pregnant, and how they enjoy every second of it, and have that pregnancy glow? Yeah, right now I hate them. I mean, I don’t really of course, I just wish I could be like them, at least for this week. I’m tired, I’m cranky and I’ve been suffering since the end of last week with some sort of muscular stomach pain, which let me tell you has been AGONY.
You see, no one really tells you about the bad side of pregnancy do they? No-one tells you that, at only 15 weeks your stomach muscles will start stretching so much that they might tear, and when that happens even walking is a struggle.
It started when I was at home at my parents this weekend. My mum took me shopping for some new ‘preggo’ clothes and while I was trying things on in the changing room I kept getting stabbing pains in my belly every time I bent over or stretched up. When I pressed lightly on my belly button it was tender and sore, but after discussing it with my Mum we decided it was probably just indigestion and too high up to be baby related.
The thing is, even when the sensible side of your head says ‘it’s ok, if there was something wrong with baby the pain would be in your abdomen’, there’s still the other not so sensible side that goes into slight panic mode every time any sort of twinge or pain appears in your stomach. Later that evening the pain got worse, sitting up and twisting my torso in any way was difficult and I couldn’t find a position to put myself that didn’t ache.
A quick scan of google forums did indeed suggest that it might be muscular, and many other mums to be described the same pain I was experiencing from as early as 13 weeks. Only the next day it continued, and by the time it came to get our flight home that evening, I was in agony. I managed to sleep through the flight but upon reaching our stop on the train and walking home, every step I took sent a sharp pain right through me and I had to walk at snails pace to avoid doubling over. When we finally stepped through the front door, I broke down in floods of tears and was convinced something was seriously wrong so I decided to head to the Doctor first thing to get checked out.
Thankfully it was just muscular after all (and bowel related, which was pushing on the torn muscles – oh the joys). The Doctor didn’t seem overly concerned but checked the baby’s heart beat just in case and after a nail biting few minutes where she couldn’t find it, I heard that soothing sound that assured me little flicker was totally fine, it was just me that was suffering.
That I can cope with though, as long as I know baby is doing ok I’ll take the pain. It’s funny how as soon as you find out you’re pregnant you just kind of give up control of your body to another life form. I feel as if my body is not my own anymore, it’s there just to house this little flicker of ours. That’s hard to take sometimes, but I know it will all be worth it in the end.
It’s just exhausting. As I said, I’m tired, cranky, have a constant headache and now can’t move without someone stabbing me in the stomach. On Doctors orders, I’ve taken a couple of days off work and have been sitting on the sofa with my feet up since then, taking lots of naps and watching crap TV, trying desperately to get rid of this headache that I’ve had for three days without having to take painkillers. A day off work to lounge might sound amazing, but as someone who is so used to being busy and on to go, I do find it frustrating. The doctor thought I might just be having a bad week, and I really hope so as reading some of the forums, there are those who suffer these muscle pains all the way through pregnancy!! Please no!
Apart from feeling rubbish, we did have a lovely time back in Scotland though. The sun shone the whole weekend (record breaking I know) and we visited a lovely little seaside town called Gardenstown which was adorable. My parents are also on a whole new level of excitement, even more so than anything the wedding brought. My Mum has already amassed a small collection of baby gro’s (even though I’d given her strict instructions not to buy anything until after the 20 week scan) and we had a good old laugh coming up with crazy names we could give the baby Jacpot. All bets seem to be pointing towards a boy, and I’m pretty convinced of that too to be honest as everyone I know who has had a baby recently has had a girl so I think we’re due for some testosterone. We’ve decided not to find out though, so it’s a guessing game until D-Day!
8th Sep 2016
I’m now in week 16 (navel orange) and I have to say I was glad to see the back of both 14 and 15. I think they were probably my worst weeks so far in the pregnancy, although it’s hard to say as I can remember having rough weeks early on and thinking it couldn’t get any worse so… maybe you just forget once you’re not in it anymore.
Anyway after another week of migraines and stomach pain and exhaustion where I basically went through each day in a hazy blur, I finally seem to be feeling a little better this week. We were visiting GB’s parents the weekend just past, and despite doing more travelling, it was nice to just sit about for a couple of days being looked after and not feel any pressure to be going to work or doing ‘things’. We did take a trip to Mothercare, which scared the bejeezus out of us as we realised how non- existent our knowledge of baby matters is. We have plenty of time at least to read up and research what on earth the difference between a Stokke and a Joolz is and whether we need a Moses basket or a Snuzpod?
I also had my 16 week midwife appointment today, which all went well. Baby’s heart beat is sounding good, blood pressure is normal, and if little flicker continues growing as normal I’ll be birthing a 7lb 11 ounzes baba – eek!!
I’ve also just finished filming and editing a little announcement video for the blog, so at 16 weeks we can finally share our news with you all and I can start taking photos of my outfits again without having to hide the bump (which has settled down from those bloated days but is becoming more noticeable each day).
I’ve had a busy week, and I’m off to Stockholm for a few days next week too. I am slightly nervous about flying and travelling again but I’m reminding myself that I won’t be able to do it very soon so I should make the most of it. And that’s what I intend to do! Here’s to a better week 16!
9th Sep 2016
Did I speak too soon? Yes I believe I did as I’m feeling absolutely rubbish again. My ‘bad week’ has lasted three weeks now. I mean c’mon pregnancy where’s my damn glow? Surely, surely I have to turn a corner soon and start feeling normal again, right?
I think, if I’m really honest with myself, I know it’s because I’m trying to do too much and I just need to slow down. But then I read contradicting advice – one website tells you to put your feet up, the next says to make sure you’re staying fit and active all the time. The fact is, my life is busy. That’s just how it is. I need to be doing all of the things I’m doing and it’s SO unbelievably frustrating that I can’t seem to function like a normal human being at the moment and just live my life as I normally would. Everything is a struggle. Walking to the tube station is a struggle. Getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. Having to pee twenty million times a night (exaggeration but you catch my drift) is a struggle. I’m tired of it.
After my midwife appointment yesterday, I had work in the afternoon. Which is fine, but means I don’t get home until late and then I was up early this morning finishing off work before meeting my friend Kylie to do some photos together for the blog. That in itself shouldn’t have been a particularly tiring or stressful task but it kind of went a bit south, and involved lots of trekking in the rain, travelling and general busyness that has made this preggo lady totally and utterly pooped. Of course when I arrived home this afternoon, I remembered I still had to clean the flat from top to toe in preparation for friends coming over for lunch tomorrow and my parents arriving in the evening. I wouldn’t normally bother too much, but the place really was an absolute tip, and not fit for guests. Anyway it’s now around 8pm, I’m lying on the sofa absolutely cream crackered, my back is aching, it hurts every time I move and I’ve got a headache again. Plus I have no idea what to make for dinner.
GB is away this week for work, so I guess that’s made a big difference as I’ve had no-one with me to take on the tasks that get too much. Like the back breaking work that is hoovering the bloody flat with a hoover that doesn’t reach higher than my knees (which I painstakingly did this evening and is probably to blame for most of this back ache), or carrying the shopping back from Tesco, or generally just making me a cup of tea while I sit on the sofa watching Nashville (ahem – I have the pregnancy pass right?). I’m sure I’ll be a lot better once he is back and I’m not fending for myself again.
For now though, it feels like I’m totally failing at pregnancy, and I can’t help but feel that it shouldn’t be this difficult so early on, should it? Every pregnancy is different I know, and I’m on this roller coaster now so I just need to ride it as best I can. I’ve got a lot on my mind too, we’re trying to find a new place to live (which we have been for months but don’t seem to be getting anywhere) so that’s stressing me out as we need to do it sooner rather than later so I can get registered with a hospital and know where I’m having the baby. GB’s work is also a bit up in the air at the moment, and there’s a lot of uncertainty in our lives which quite frankly couldn’t have come at a worse time because if there’s one thing a pregnant couple crave it’s stability. Such is life I guess.
Anyway everything is getting on top of me and I just want to feel well again so I can start tackling all of these issues head on like I normally would.
For tonight though, I’m going to order a pizza, lie here on the sofa and watch back to back Nashville….
… Oh almost forgot! I announced the pregnancy on the blog this morning with our little video! And aren’t you guys just the loveliest? I have to admit I was really nervous to share it. I kept asking myself whether I should or whether I needed to. But I figured that if I ever wanted to show myself on the blog or social media again you’d all guess anyway. But I’m really glad I did as you all left some lovely comments and it made me feel all mushy inside that I have so many lovely friends and blog readers. The video was also a really last minute thing, as originally I wanted to do some photos but ran out of time so had to improvise. I’m glad though, as you all seemed to really like it, and we announced our engagement with a video too so maybe that’ll be our thing now. Anyway, really truly, a big big thank you for all your well wishes on our news. I’ve written this blog for 7 years now and every day I’m so grateful that there are people out there who actually read it!
16th September 2016
So I survived my first proper ‘travelling’ of the pregnancy, as I’ve just got back from a few days in Stockholm and actually, I’m pretty proud of myself for how well I did. I’ll admit I was a little worried, as my short trip to Scotland a few weeks ago left me pretty wiped out and unwell, and I felt like the flying had a lot to do with that. I was concerned that the early morning/late night flights might take it out of me, and also concerned that I’d waste the trip needing constant rests and naps and not be able to take in all the sights that I wanted to.
But, actually I was fine. Perhaps those energy levels are finally returning to me because despite a 5am wake up call on the day I left, I was still up and about exploring well into the evening and feeling pretty good apart from a bit of backache from all the walking. In the two days that followed I packed in quite a bit of sightseeing, and I pretty much ticked off all the spots I had wanted to visit without too much extra effort. There’s no doubt that travelling while pregnant is more exhausting, and the amount of walking I did was harder on my body than it would have been for my non pregnant self, but I was determined to make the most of my time there. I am knackered today, and the long days are catching up on me but I’m glad at least that the flights were ok, and hopefully I can continue with a few more trips before I reach the stage of my flying ban!
It’s a beautiful city, and we had glorious weather, which made it all the better. But one thing I was glad of was the fact that I wasn’t drinking, because boy is alcohol expensive out there! Sheesh!
In other news, I got offered a seat on the tube today so I finally must look pregnant rather than just a bit chubby, so that’s exciting. I’ve definitely been noticing big changes in my body this week and even though I know they must be gradual, sometimes it feels as if they’ve just flipped overnight. I was getting dressed the other day and ran my hand down my back and suddenly felt a massive curve where my spine met my bottom. That definitely wasn’t like that only last week so my back is obviously curving to accommodate the new weight on my front (eek). I had to shout GB through to feel it too so that I knew I wasn’t imagining it. No wonder I’ve been having back ache eh? For now I’m still just sizing up on clothes but there’s certain things that are definitely getting more difficult to get into with a growing bump, my hips are way wider already and I’ve gone up a cup size in bras. It’s a bit freaky though, what your body does. As much as it is amazing I’ve found myself worrying whether everything will go back to the way it was or whether I’ll always have a curve in my spine from now on? My bump suddenly popped out a bit while I was in Stockholm and as GB wasn’t with me, I sent a million photos to him so he could see how big it looked. The shape comes and goes but it’s still sitting pretty flat at the moment rather than protruding out, which I think just makes me look flabby rather than preggo, but I’m sure it will suddenly appear one day without me noticing.
Anyway that’s about it for this week – Stockholm was my big adventure, and baby is now the size of a turnip (say what???), has eyelashes and can hear our voices (time to start playing it some music). We’re only two weeks on Monday away from our half way point and our next scan – how crazy is that? This trimester really is flying by.
Next week we’re busy viewing lots of houses in our evenings so fingers crossed next time I speak to you, we’ll have secured a nice home for jacpot mini!
23rd September 2016
Ok guys – pre warning. I need to have a little rant and it isn’t going to be very positive. So if you like reading blogs that are all about lovely pregnancy experiences where it sounds as if life is wonderful and Mum is glowing through the whole nine months, click away now as that isn’t my experience.
Basically, I am not enjoying the 2nd trimester AT ALL right now, and it’s getting to me. Why is it so hard? Does it have to be so challenging? I feel as if I was totally naive to how difficult growing a life form inside of me would actually be day to day. I thought I’d pretty much be able to carry on with my normal life and not have to change all that much until the final couple of months, but BOY was I wrong.
And you know what, I wish people had told me it was rough, and so I’m telling you (you know I’m prone to brutal honesty after all).
BEING PREGNANT IS BLOODY HARD WORK. EVERY DAY. ALL DAY.
Yes it’s a beautiful thing, yes it’s bloody amazing that our bodies are even able to do this, and of course I know that there are many women who aren’t able to experience it and would give anything to be able to carry a child no matter how bad it is, and yes I am forever grateful to be in this situation and to be able to moan about it (I know how privileged that makes me). I never take it for granted, and I’m constantly grateful and happy that GB and I are having a child together and that our road to pregnancy was problem free.
But none of the above means I don’t have the right to tell you that I’m struggling. It doesn’t mean I want my baby any less, it doesn’t make me any less excited to be a Mum or to meet our little one, it just makes me human. And tired. And emotional. And in pain most days.
And so I’m putting my hands up, and going against the grain of most media and baby blogs who only focus on the good side, and saying that growing a human is by far THE HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life before. And that’s ok. Seeing as I’m only 18 weeks along, and still have the actual giving birth thing to do, and then the actual bringing up a child for the next 30 odd years in front of me, I’m sure things are only set to get harder.
I know it will all be worth it in the end. I know it will. And I wouldn’t change a thing of course, but pregnancy takes its toll on you – physically and emotionally – and I just need a bit of a change in course right now. I need that ‘glowing’ period to begin, and I need a bit of a break from feeling rubbish ALL OF THE TIME. I know it will come again, and I know that there are good days and bad days and today is just a bad day. But it’s a bad day in a run of bad days that’s lasted a week and carried on from a few weeks prior that weren’t so great either. I had a few days of rest bite while in Stockholm where I thought I’d turned a corner and now I’m back here again.
I can’t even really tell you what’s wrong, as it’s an amalgamation of many things that are resulting in me feeling like I’m only barely functioning each day. I know it’s a lot to do with general life worries and everything we have going on behind the scenes, and that in itself is bothering me because the one thing I didn’t want to be at all during this pregnancy was stressed. As I know what I’m prone to and I know how that affects me. Without going into too much detail, GB is out of a job as of the middle of next month. Nothing at all to do with him or his performance and just one of those things that happens to everyone, but completely out of the blue and probably the worst timing ever and the cause for a lot of unnecessary uncertainty and stress for both of us at a time when we could have done without it. To add to that we’re moving house next month (yes exactly – it’s all very bad timing) and because I’ve been feeling so rubbish, I haven’t been able to take on as much work as I normally would or would ideally like to at this point.
Aside from the external stuff, the biggest problem I’m facing symptoms wise right now is the headaches. Actually I’ll call them migraines as that’s what they are – full on, debilitating, only a dark room and sleep will help before waking up and doing the whole thing again the next day – kind of headaches. And I’ve had one every day for the last week consecutively. And I had them similarly a couple of weeks back too.
They aren’t fun, and have made life (and work – which mainly involves sitting at a computer screen most days) all the more trying. I’d love to get rid of them of course, but honestly it’s not even just that. If it was I could maybe cope, but it’s everything. I can honestly say that since week 14 there has not been one day go by where I have not had some sort of ailment and I think that’s the case in many many pregnancies. If it’s not a headache, it’s stomach pains. If it’s not stomach pains, it’s back ache. If it’s not back ache it’s nausea. If it’s not nausea it’s bowel problems. If it’s not bowel problems it’s swollen muscles. All on top of general exhaustion and hormonal mood swings that can really knock you for six.
I hate to complain – I really do, but like I said I just need a rant. And if I can’t do that on my own blog then where can I. So I’ll have this one and then I’ll get back to getting on with the show and accept that this is just what pregnancy is, and there’s no getting around it. At the end we get a bouncing baby as a reward and I’m sure the minute I see our arrival I’ll happily take all the difficulty ten times over for them.
So here goes; I feel fat, I hate the way my body looks at the moment, I’m not comfortable in any of my clothes. Work is hard, life is hard, day to day tasks that are anything other than lying on the sofa are hard. I’ve always got a headache, the GP’s are useless, I don’t want to take paracetamol daily but I kind of have to. I haven’t felt the baby move yet but I keep getting told I should have and that’s worrying me. I have stomach pain every time I eat, my bowels are all over the place, I don’t know if I’m eating the right things or if baby is getting the right nutrition, sometimes I’m so busy or so hungry I just eat anything and then feel ill and curse myself for not being healthier. I haven’t done any exercise for ages, I’m worried about getting really unfit and not being capable. My back aches all the time, none of my shoes give me any support, I never feel pretty anymore. My skin is off the chart bad, my hair looks crap and apparently you can’t dye it when your pregnant. My boobs are too big for my body, my thighs are massive but yet my bump is still hardly there. I’m surrounded by boxes, have so much work to do but can’t seem to motivate myself to do any of it. I cry at silly things and have breakdowns for no reason at all. I get tired doing normal daily tasks, I can’t stay awake later than 11pm, everything that I used to enjoy now feels like a struggle. I’m having to say no to so many things that I want to say yes to. My husband is soon to be out of work, we’re moving house and I’m struggling to keep up with freelance work. I’m worried about the future, I’m worried about how we’ll cope and whether we can do it. There seems to be so many things to think about and so many things to buy, and yet there’s a possibility that neither of us will earn any real money over the next couple of months. Sometimes I feel as if the universe is trying to tell us we shouldn’t be having a baby, and then I can’t believe I’ve ever thought that thought and want to cling on to my little tiny bump and the little flicker inside it so tight and never let it go.
Because pregnancy is hard and life is tough sometimes, but I know that’s because generally I have it good. And I’m lucky enough to have people and things in my life that I don’t want to let go.
A fellow pregnant friend said to me the other day; ‘We’re not all made to be earth mothers but that doesn’t make us any less of a Mum’ and I think she’s right because no matter how hard this is, no matter how much we might struggle or what difficulties we’ll face along the way, I know one thing for sure – this baby will be oh so loved.
4th October 2016
So it’s been over a week since my last entry, and a lot has happened. The reason I haven’t checked in is that I really needed to just step away from everything for a little while, especially staring at a computer screen which was proving more and more difficult, to just relax and try and get myself back on track.
I needed my last little rant and I think it helped, but I’m over my pity party now and just getting on with things. The headaches have eased up slightly, I’ve been referred to a doctor to check them out just to make sure it’s nothing to worry about, I’ve seen my midwife again, given up on my local GP and we’ve had our 20 week scan!!! Oh AND we’ve found a new house, got through all the annoying checks, referencing, paying of all your worldly savings up front and picked up the keys yesterday. Hallelujah! We won’t be officially moving for another couple of weeks but the packing has begun and a fresh start is upon us, which I can’t wait for!
But first things first – it’s October! I’ve been pregnant for almost 5 months and will be at the half way point in a matter of days! Say what? I’m currently at grapefruit size and am very happy to report that all went great at our scan yesterday and Jacpot mini is developing just fine.
I think I might have actually been more nervous for this scan than I was for the 12 week one. Although I was pretty nervous for that too so… maybe I’ll just be permanently nervous for all scans. But the 20 week one is an important one, as unlike the 12 week where they basically just check that there is a baby in there and that your dates are correct, by this point they can see a lot more and make sure that everything is developing as it should be.
It was in a different section of the hospital rather than the antenatal area, and the whole thing felt a lot more serious, clinical and generally important. There was no smiles or jokes from the doctors, no congrats or ‘oh look at your belly’ kind of chat. It was more of a come in, lie down and be prodded silently for 20 mins while we do all the necessary checks and read out all kinds of strange numbers and facts that mean nothing to you and just have you worrying while refusing to look at you or talk to you until it’s all over. I think baby was sitting in an awkward position which was making it difficult for them to get all the information they needed and until they had all that info they weren’t paying much attention to us or our worried faces unless it was to tell me to roll over onto my side or push forward against the scanner. But eventually after a rather tense 20 mins, the screen got swivelled round to us and we got to see how big little flicker has become and see them kicking their (quite long I think) legs around on the screen. It still dumbfounds me that all that is going on inside me and I can’t feel it, but once the doctor did start talking to us to tell us everything was looking absolutely fine and in proportion, she also told me that my muscles were for the most part un-stretched and remained quite compact which is why my bump isn’t so big yet and I can’t feel the movement. Apparently a few babies in and you’ll be massive instantly because your muscles have given up! Anyway we both breathed the biggest sigh of relief seeing baby again and knowing that they’re doing just great and fairly happy in there.
Hopefully I can start enjoying things a little more now, and relax into the pregnancy. I’m actually looking forward to the point when my bump gets bigger and I can start dressing it properly. Right now I’m a bit too big for my normal clothes but not big enough for maternity clothes so am in this strange period of just having to wear everything really baggy and shapeless.
Thankfully I have been feeling slightly better these last few days. The headaches aren’t gone completely, and occasionally still come back with a vengeance but they aren’t as regular or as debilitating now, and the doctors have told me it’s absolutely fine to take paracetamol as you normally would so as soon as I feel one coming on, I just take it straight away with a large glass of water. My energy levels are improving slightly and I’m trying hard to get back into a routine with work but there are still days when I have to accept it just isn’t going to happen. I have been getting some crazy emotional mood swings though – yesterday for example I had a total meltdown because I forgot to put primer on before foundation and my skin looked a bit dry. GB came into the bedroom to find me bawling my eyes out and couldn’t seem to understand how this much emotion could be make up related – LOL!
We’re really excited to get moved and settled in our new home, and I of course already have multiple Pinterest boards dedicated to each room of the house. We’re still renting so there’s only so much we can do, but I’m definitely keen to sort a few things out over the next few months and make it feel like home before baby arrives. So this month is going to be all about packing, saying good bye to London and then starting the re-decorating mission. I still can’t get my head around the fact that in another 4.5 months Jacpot mini will be here!
12th October 2016
I really don’t want to speak too soon but I *think* (hope, pray) things might be looking up. I’ve been feeling MUCH better this week, and dare I say it, almost back to my old self. Almost.
Three separate people on three separate occasions have told me I’m ‘looking well’ and even though I know they might just be pandering to me, I’m taking it. Because I feel more well than I have in a long time.
Life is as crazy and chaotic as I imagined it would be this week – As I write this I’m cocooned in the one bit of sofa space that is still free, surrounded by a sea of boxes, bags and things which still need sorting out. This Sunday is the big moving day although right now it feels like packing up our life for a new home is the never-ending task that just keeps coming. The progress is extremely slow and I’m not at all sure that we’re going to be ready in time for Sunday, but hey – I guess we just have to be. I really can’t wait for it to be next week already so that the main move will be behind us and I can start re-organising everything at the other end. My Mum is coming to visit at the end of this week and we’re planning to tackle some painting next week and get rid of the ugly wallpaper that currently resides in the bedrooms.
On the baby front, not a lot has happened since last week and the scan. As of today baby is the length of a banana and although my bump has popped up ever so slightly, I’m still a little confused as to how a banana shaped baby is in there and not showing itself. They have been making themselves felt more though – which has been exciting. For a while I was feeling little flutters and butterflies in my tummy but wasn’t entirely convinced that this was attributed to baby to be honest. This week though, the feelings have become more pronounced and I’m more sure that it’s Jacpot mini doing some somersaults in there. It’s a strange sensation – almost like your abdomen is contracting, in the way it does ahead of a big tummy rumble, but without the rumble. That sounds totally gross I know and I guess that’s why it’s easy to confuse it with wind but to me it’s now low down enough and strange enough that it no longer feels like wind. I honestly can’t wait to feel the first kick though, that’s going to be super exciting!
We’re also stepping it up a little in the name search, as we’ve been set on our boy name for a while now (and both been pretty convinced that we’re having a little champ in Feb), BUT we haven’t really decided on a girl name and there was something about the most recent scan that looked altogether feminine. I had a dream this week that I was carrying a baby girl around, who was at least 4 months old (we were all in New York for some reason but that’s by the by). She was wearing a cute little stripy pink outfit and we were besotted with her, but only half way through the dream I realised she didn’t have a name!! We were just calling her daughter or little girl, and suddenly I panicked (in the dream) and while shopping in the middle of New York we started firing out random girl names and asking passers by if they suited our baby. When I woke up, I told GB that we really needed to agree on a girl name as well as a boy one, because 50/50 people.
I also treated myself to a little pamper session this week and took myself to the hairdresser for a cut and colour refresh. I know some people treat colouring your hair during pregnancy as a total no no but honestly it’s such a minefield sometimes with all the do’s and don’ts that it can be really hard to figure out what the real rules are. I’ve got to the stage where I just google something until I find the answer I want and there were a large majority of mums who said that hair colouring was absolutely fine and posed no risk whatsoever, especially after the first trimester, so I went along with them (and my midwife who didn’t seem to have a problem with it). It was an all over colour and I didn’t use any bleach (I normally have the ends bleached lighter but decided against it) and I’m hoping that this will last until after the baby is born now. The thing is I just wasn’t sure I could last another 5 odd months to have my hair done – it was looking so lacklustre, I’d noticed a few grey hairs and it was getting me down. Besides, I can’t wear many nice clothes at the moment so by darnit just let me have nice hair!! Anyway I’m really pleased with it, and spending a whole afternoon sitting reading magazines at the hairdresser while people primped and preened me was all kinds of bliss.
21st October 2016
In more ways than one. But the most exciting movement is that going on in my belly right now – its crazy. Jacpot mini just turned into a gymnast almost overnight and now I can feel EVERYTHING. I think I’ve actually been feeling them for a couple of weeks now but like I said in my last few entries it was hard to tell if it was truly baby causing the occasional little flutters. Last week the movements began getting more pronounced and I was more sure that the jolts and whooshes were definitely baby having some fun in there. It started out feeling as if someone was popping a bubble inside me which was very strange and a little disconcerting sometimes, especially when it would happen while doing something totally mundane like waiting in a queue to buy some milk and I’d have to be careful not to let out a little squeal. Towards the end of last week and the beginning of this one the bubble popping got even more definite and then what felt like overnight they were suddenly no longer bubbles and recognisable as actual hands and feet prodding against me from the inside. It was the weirdest and yet most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced.
As luck would have it those kicks started just as we were moving house last weekend (perhaps mini knew something exciting was going on) and so I didn’t have that much time to just sit down and enjoy them and before I knew it they were coming thick and fast almost every evening and whenever I had something to eat. GB was away for work for a few days and I was DESPERATE for him to come home and hopefully feel it too. Because it felt so pronounced for me on the inside, it was hard to tell whether the jolts were extending to the outside too, and that first day GB came home we spent practically all evening trying to get them to line up with his hand so he could feel something too, but to no avail.
By the next day I think he was feeling a little despondent that I could feel all of this activity going on from our baby and he couldn’t feel anything. He was only home for a couple of days before having to jet off for work again and so I was determined he’d feel at least one kick before he went. Thankfully Jacpot mini was determined too, and while sitting in a Coffee Republic utilising their free wifi for far longer than it takes to drink a cup of coffee I started feeling some proper big punches and kicks against the front of my stomach. Without saying anything I just grabbed GB’s hand and put it on my belly where I could feel them, silently crying out ‘surely you MUST feel this!!’. And he did! Mini gave the biggest kick I’d felt so far and we both just turned to look at each other and screeched. And then came another, and another. What a gymnast we have in there!
It was brilliant, and I think especially for GB quite monumental to suddenly feel a real moving baby from the outside. I definitely won’t forget that feeling in a hurry.
It’s now Friday and we (well mostly I as GB’s been working) have been in the new house for almost a whole week. The move went as well as moves ever go and everything made it over from flat to house in one go and in one piece and we’re in. This week my Mum has been staying with me and we’ve spent some time pottering about home and DIY shops for odds and ends, painting some of the more immediate problems and slowly trying to unpack some small bits and find a home for the essentials. It’s going to be a slow process I know and I need to keep reminding myself that we don’t need to unpack everything and have the whole house perfect within a week (Pinterest is a dangerous business isn’t it?), we just need to take it a step at a time and one room at a time. I’m one of those people who can’t seem to think straight around clutter though, and so right now I am finding it quite frustrating that I can’t find things or get to the suitcases I need. I’ve been living in the same pair of joggers all week and am dying to find some proper clothes, as well as find a place for all the furniture.
But on the other hand we’re really really happy with the house, and it feels like home already which I wasn’t expecting. There’s a nice open feel to the place and the novelty of having so much space still hasn’t worn off. Our flat was always so dark and cold, and this house is the opposite – every room is light and bright while still being cosy at night (points for rhyming?). I can already see us enjoying living here – just as soon as we get a TV signal sorted out (I think I’ve watched every DVD in the box by now and have missed Bake Off something silly) and get wifi back (it is ridiculous how much I rely on the internet for every facet of my life!).
GB is away for another week now and My Mum has gone home so I’m on my lonesome for a little while. But I’ve also got a lot of work to get back to this week coming, plus a midwife appointment back in London and a few clients to check in with/ people to see so hopefully it will pass quickly. Plus most importantly I have a new bed and mattress to try out and right now sleeping is probably one of the most enjoyable things in my life – LOL!
I’ll keep you updated on how those kicks are coming!
7th November 2016
Somehow I have reached 6 months pregnant! How on earth did that happen? It’s been a busy couple weeks all round, both in our lives and, it seems, in baby’s. We’ve been trying to sort the house out a bit, with GB ducking in and out of freelance projects that take him away for days (and sometimes weeks) on end, so it feels like a slow process. I just got him back last week and now he’s away again for almost two weeks so I’m feeling particularly sorry for myself right now, but my parents are coming down to keep me company in a few days so I’ll be ok. It’s funny how being on your own when pregnant feels so much scarier. Being alone never used to bother me at all, in fact I used to enjoy it, but now I constantly worry that something will go wrong and there will be no one around to help!
Anyway apart from GB being away a lot and the house decoration and unpacking moving at snails pace, we are slowly settling in to our new abode in Rochester, and getting to know the area. I’ve been trying to sort out a new doctor, midwife etc and register at a hospital this week and I’ve got a tour of the two birth centres nearby which I could have mini in, next week, which is rather scary and making it all quite real.
I’ve been to-ing and fro-ing a lot lately which has been hugely tiring. I spent last weekend at a friends house (who is also preggo!) which was lovely, and we had a great time talking babies and body changes, but boy was the travelling tiring. By the time I got home (after the 2 trains, tube and the walk home) I collapsed onto the bed in a mess of hormonal tears declaring I couldn’t do it anymore (life, that is). Because of all the extra weight I’m carrying, everything is becoming a struggle and walking long distances (or running for trains) is a monumental task. Climbing up hills is particularly soul destroying as I have to walk so slowly, it takes me twice as long as a normal person to get to the top and I’m in agony by the time I do. And considering Rochester is ALL hills and our house is right at the top of an extremely steep one (whose idea was it to move here?) I’m pretty much exhausted from the second I step foot outside my door.
But when I consider what is going on inside my body it’s no wonder really – baby has been through a big growth spurt lately, and I can see it too as my bump is finally starting to pop out rather than lie flat, my belly button is almost an outie and my skin feels super tight around the tummy. When I look down now, I can see a proper bump and know that there’s a baby in there (especially with all the kicking they’re doing) which is helping to make it more real. They are moving A LOT now and GB can feel the kicks almost every time as they’re right at the surface. They seem to be having a great time in there as I can feel lots of somersaults and flips, and while I’m super glad, I do sometimes wish they would calm down a little, especially when it’s time for me to go to sleep!
The biggest change in the last few weeks has been the influx of hormones, which have come on fast and taken me by surprise. I’ve had little melt downs and teary moments here and there up until this, but suddenly it’s like I’ve lost any sort of control of them, and even though I know it’s the hormones talking and the sensible part of my brain tries to tell me not to listen and to dismiss the thoughts and feelings I’m having, it’s like my body won’t let me. It’s the weirdest thing, and coming from me (someone who suffers regular hormonal ups and downs anyway) that’s saying something. I’d say I’m averaging at least a daily cry right now – some more dramatic than others – and often I’m not even sure why. The slightest thing can set me off. If GB’s here, he can usually talk me down or get me to laugh through the ridiculousness of it, but the periods he has been away have made it difficult because missing him on top of the other emotions leads to a much crazier hormonal dip, and I’m not always very good at getting myself out of it.
It’s pretty strange the things your body puts you through, and the things your mind can make you think. I can rollercoaster from being so blissfully happy one second, so proud to be pregnant and to be carrying my child around with me and thinking that life couldn’t possibly get any better, to then hating pregnancy and all that comes with it the next, exclaiming that ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I’m not ready’, ‘I’m too selfish’ and ‘IT’S TOO HARD!’. There have been mornings where I’ve woken up in such a state after another crazy baby related dream that I’ve honestly thought ‘I can’t be a parent, I don’t think I want this, I won’t be able to do it, we’ll just have to give the baby up for adoption’ and then a few hours later I can’t even fathom that I EVER allowed myself to think that thought and I’m frantically telling the bump how much I love them, and how we’ll be ok, and how I’d NEVER give them up. It’s a funny old business that’s for sure, but I have had a small glimpse of how easily depression (both pre-and post natal) could be triggered. It would only take those thoughts filling your head for more than a few days for a downward spiral to begin, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for Mums to go through that, all the time probably knowing that it’s not how they really feel but unable to get themselves out of that trap. For now I’m just trying to keep an eye on it and make sure those negative thoughts don’t last too long. Talking to others helps, and NOT the ones who just want to gush about how wonderful the miracle of life is, because that will drive you mental when you’re feeling pants about the whole thing. I’ve had to stop reading some blogs and online magazines because everything just seemed way too fluffy and I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn’t really enjoying the act of pregnancy all that much. For a long time I felt like I had no one to talk to because I was too scared to admit that, actually, I don’t always like being pregnant and some days I want my old life and my old body back. It felt like I was the only one who didn’t love every second of it, like I was holding onto a dirty secret, but the thing is that loads of women feel that way too – it’s bloody hard work and it’s total crap some days – but you get through it. What’s wrong with just saying that? I think it would help a lot of people out if we were all just a bit more open.
16th November 2016
Hello 26 weeks!! I’m almost at the end of the second trimester, which, if you’ve read this far you’re probably quite glad for because this has been a LONG ol’ post (soz about that – I guess a lot really does happen in this period), but at the same time it seems a little hard to fathom.
To think that I only have three months left in this pregnancy and am almost onto the final home run, is crazy. When I think back (and read back) to the beginning of this trimester I can see that so much has happened and I’m so much further along but in other ways it does feel like this trimester has flown by. So much so that I’ve been feeling a bit guilty that I haven’t been soaking it up more, and taking note of all the changes and special moments. We’ve been so busy – with moving house, GB changing jobs, me taking on new projects – that I worry certain aspects have passed us by a bit. But then, you just have to get on with normal daily life don’t you, pregnant or not. It’s not as if you can just sit with your feet up and talk to your belly for 9 months.
This week has been a bit of a weird one, physically and emotionally, and a lot has happened. For starters, I’m definitely now proper pregnant. As in people smile at me in the street and tell me to be careful going up and down stairs. In what felt like a couple of days, my bump completely changed in size and look and is now sitting out further than ever before and looking HUGE. My parents have been down since the weekend and it went from my Mum saying ‘oh you’re still very neat, I can’t even tell your pregnant’ when she arrived to her exclaiming ‘woah where did that baby bump come from?’ by the time she left today. And I’ve felt it too – I think the baby must have turned and be sitting in a different position because my bump has gone from being wide and low to being narrow and high, and protruding out a lot. So far I’ve still avoided stretch marks but my skin feels SO tight and heavy, especially at night, and I’m having to slather on the cream before bed. I’m feeling very front heavy, so much so that getting on and off of the sofa is now a three person job. Don’t even get me started on getting in and out of cars. I honestly took about ten minutes to climb out the back of a taxi the other day because I just couldn’t lift myself up.
I’ve given in to buying some maternity clothes (I didn’t feel big enough for them up until now and it seemed like such a waste of money) but it got to the stage where normal clothes (other than those which are shaped like tents) just felt uncomfortable and jumpers and tops were riding up so much it was getting ridiculous. So I’ve bought a couple of pairs of maternity jeans and long jumpers for those comfy days.
The kicking is frequent now, although it’s only this week that I read you’re supposed to monitor the movement of your baby throughout pregnancy which I haven’t really been doing, so that stressed me out a little. I’m still not entirely sure what I’m supposed to be looking out for but I’m trying to pay more attention to the pattern of movement. Mini is definitely a nocturnal so and so (doesn’t bode well for after birth does it?) and the activity starts in the evening and doesn’t stop all night, even keeping me awake sometimes. As well as the kicks I’m also feeling pressure low down on my stomach which has been quite painful and they’re obviously pushing down on my bladder because I’m honestly peeing every ten minutes (no exaggeration). But according to my app, they are now 2lbs in weight (about the same weight as a litre bottle of coke) so it’s no wonder really! I’m at papaya stage and I only have three more fruits until baby is fully cooked!
I think with all these changes and activity, I’ve been feeling quite anxious this week. GB is still away until Saturday and I’m missing him terribly, especially as so much seems to have happened with bump. Everything is beginning to feel real now, and the worries have begun to kick in. Despite the realness, I still feel a bit detached overall from the pregnancy if that makes sense, and that does worry me. I feel as if I should be able to visualise a baby and us with a baby by now, but it all still feels very alien to me. I have days where I honestly just want my old life back – where I don’t want to wear maternity jeans and have my top ride up and not be able to get in and out of taxis. Days where I want to hop, skip and jump through London at speed like I used to and experience all the things that used to be easy without having to think of another. I do worry that my feelings of detachment will carry on after the birth and perhaps I won’t feel the emotions you’re ‘supposed’ to feel when the baby is born, but I also recognise that a lot of it is hormones and when I really strip all those away, I am hugely excited to meet our baby.
I had a tour of two different birth centres this week – one a stand alone place and one part of a hospital, both of which are equal distance from us, meaning I can choose (is that a good thing? I’m not sure?). It was really interesting to see them, and to talk to other mums during the tours and get more information from the midwifes about what exactly would happen and how it might all work. They were very reassuring and the birth centres are lovely places – almost like a spa really and not at all that stark medical environment that hospitals are – but it was like a huge jolt of reality that I’m not sure I was ready for. The birth has always been at the back of my mind but actually seeing the rooms where it could possibly happen in and considering the ways in which it could happen, was a terrifying (if also informative and enjoyable) experience. It left me feeling a little uneasy to be honest and pretty confused too. I fell in love with the first birth centre I saw as it really was true luxury but it’s another 20 minute drive away from the main hospital and of course there’s always the chance you may need to be transferred. Having seen that one first, going into the hospital labour ward at the other location felt like a whole different world and although I can see how you’d be well looked after and having medical assistance on hand if needed could be a good thing, I did leave feeling like I really didn’t want to have my baby in a hospital ward, with four other women going through the same thing next to me. Obviously you never know what could happen, and I’m very aware that I need to be flexible and open to different scenarios, but in an ideal situation, if it was possible for me, I’d love to have my baby in a relaxed birth centre environment. I’d LOVE to hear from any other women who opted for this, especially with a first pregnancy, and hear whether it all went ok and if you’d recommend it?
Anyway another week down and another set of emotions to deal with. I’m counting down the days until I can see my husband and share in this journey together again. It’s our first wedding anniversary this coming weekend (all fingers and toes crossed he makes it home in time and I’m not sitting in a hotel room on my own) and because of this little life form we’ve created, it feels all the more special and definitely one to remember.
Only 14 weeks left – eek!
23rd November 2016
The weekend just past was our first wedding anniversary, and honestly I can’t quite get over how busy and crazy a first year we’ve had and how much has changed. Mini made themselves extra obvious for the occasion and suddenly pushed my bump out even more, making me look and feel HUGE. I could hardly fit into my wedding jumper which I’d always planned to wear again on the 21st (although wearing a Mrs jumper while looking extremely pregnant does warrant some friendly behaviour from all around you – we got offered free drinks and congrats brownies and handshakes everywhere we went!). GB made it back just in the nick of time (thank goodness) and we spent the weekend in Durham at a lovely hotel and spa. I had a pregnancy massage which was lovely and eased my aches and pains a little, we got dressed up and had a posh meal and toasted with a bottle of alcohol free wine.
Storm Arthur (or whatever it was called) began pretty much as soon as we got there, which put a dampener (literallyt on any exploration of Durham but quite honestly we didn’t really care and were happy to hole up in the cosy hotel and enjoy the spa.
GB was mega tired and jetlagged but I think he was really glad to be home, to see how big bump had got and to feel those kicks again. Somehow after all the busyness of the last few months, hitting our anniversary felt like quite a milestone moment, and I think there was part of me that just relaxed a little more and let something within this pregnancy click. Perhaps it was just having GB home again and knowing I wasn’t tackling all of the hurdles and emotions alone for a while, but I just suddenly felt better about everything.
I did have a slight panic on the Sunday thinking that I hadn’t felt mini kick as much as usual but then we took ourselves for a massive burger before our train home and suddenly they started up again (they obviously just like junk food). It must have been all the swimming I was doing tiring them out.
In baby news, I met my new midwife this week and am on my way to being registered with the hospital here which is a huge relief. I love my midwife. Like really love her and just want her to be with me all the time. Her name is Poppy! Poppy the midwife – how adorable – and she’s young, funny, easy to chat to and hugely reassuring. I think it must be a requirement of the job as a midwife to just be a really really nice person as I loved my London one too. For different reasons – she was very matter of fact and no nonsense and was great at dismissing all of the crazy thoughts and feelings I was having in the first trimester. And now Poppy is calm and reassuring and totally easy going about how I want to proceed and supportive of where or how I want to give birth, which is once again exactly what I need at this stage. Isn’t it funny how people come in to your life to offer the exact thing you need at that time?
I need to make a decision this week about which hospital/birth centre I want to opt for this week (or whether I want a home birth) so that my paperwork can get registered and I’ll be all organised for blood tests and scans moving forward. It’s only a preliminary decision of course as I have to wait until 36 weeks to have my final risk assessment and be told whether a home or birth centre birth will even be possible for me, but I’ve been low risk up until this point so hopefully things will continue to go ok.
It’s a tough decision as I really did LOVE the spa like private hospital vibes of the stand alone birth centre, but as it’s my first pregnancy I think we’re going to opt for the one that’s attached to a hospital just to reassure myself that if I do need any intervention it’s right there. I can’t believe I’m having to make these decisions and think about giving birth – it’s so scary! I’ve started having a lot of dreams about how it’s going to pan out and it’s always kind of on my mind – I think it’s the fear of the unknown, I just have NO IDEA what to expect, how painful it’s going to be or whether I can handle it. As happy and excited as I am to welcome our baby into the world, I really do wish there was an easier way! It’s as if I’ve got myself into a situation where there is only one possible route out of and I’m not sure I really gave that enough consideration when we first planned this baba!
We’ve also signed up to our NCT classes (in December – not long!) and have a Hypnobithing taster session on Friday (I’ve heard good things about it and hey – whatever helps right?) so it’s all go on the prep!
We’re off to Belfast this weekend for GB’s birthday which will be my last chance to fly before this pregnancy is over (waaah) so I’m going to try hard to make the most of the trip and not spend the whole time moaning about how heavy my belly feels.
30th November 2016
Well this is it folks, I’m 28 weeks pregnant today (size of a head of cauliflower apparently) and as of tomorrow I’ll be entering the third trimester!! I KNOW! The final stretch, the last three months, it’s madness.
Ironically I actually feel better now than I have at any other point in the pregnancy (sods law right?) and despite being permanently exhausted, uncomfortable and unable to bend, sit up, put socks on or crouch down without assistance, I’m kind of happy and even enjoying it a little bit. My mood is better, I’m not having so many emotional dips and am even coping with very little sleep. It’s mainly because GB has been home for a couple of weeks now and things are SO much easier when he is around but also because I think we’ve got to that final stage where we’ve realised this is actually happening and started to get organised (and excited) for baby’s arrival. We’re planning the nursery decoration for the new year, we’re ordering some bits and bobs to see us through those first few months and are beginning to visualise our family with another person in it. My bump is pretty big now, belly button is fully out and I’m officially waddling around in that way only very pregnant people know how to. Mini is still kicking away regularly and I’ve started counting the kicks every couple of days with the help of a trusty app and guidance from my midwife. It’s a slightly stressful task but one I’m assured is very important to do.
We had an impromptu scan this week as I’ve measured a bit small at my last two midwife appointments and having only just registered at this hospital they wanted to take a look for themselves and check all was ok. It was thankfully, and mini is growing away nicely in there and getting everything they need from me. This was the first scan where we actually had to ‘look away’ while they scanned certain areas so that we didn’t find out the sex – waaah, it took all my willpower not to ask the doctor afterwards seeing as they knew what it was!
Our cot has arrived, and I swear the box is almost the size of our double bed, and I’m SURE they don’t come out that big so hopefully that should last them a long time. We dipped our toes into Hypnobirthing, which was a little odd but also kind of nice, and had a lovely lady come to the house and explain all about how it works and how it can benefit you. As a practice we had to lie back and visualise ourselves meeting our baby for the first time – we had to take ourselves to a happy and relaxing place of our choosing (on a magic carpet no less) and there our baby was waiting for us. I’m not sure how much of the hypno side of things really worked for us, but afterwards we did confer and realised we’d both picked the same happy place by coincidence so at least we’re on the same page hey? Now onto the NCT classes next month!
Our trip to Belfast was great, and the travelling was no problem at all thankfully. I had to stop for more toilet breaks than usual and couldn’t walk as far or as fast as normal but aside from that we had a lovely time and laughed a lot when we went to see Romesh Ranganathan live, who as it happens based a lot of his stand up routine on how annoying his kids are and how awful child birth is (for the men!) so we had a good laugh about that. It did feel a bit emotional for me though, knowing that that would be the last big trip we’ll take until after the baby is born. I’m looking forward to taking a step back now and relaxing a little over the festive period – still can’t believe I’m in the final three months now!
So, here’s to a lovely relaxing December and getting that nesting instinct on… and here’s to my final three months of pregnancy, where I full anticipate having a little cry every time I see a cute baby in a cafe.
Thanks for reading!