Lately I’ve been feeling as if I’m too busy to blog. It’s ridiculous really as the two shouldn’t really affect each other in any way. I’m always busy in some shape or form, and yet for the last five years I’ve always blogged. It’s just something I do now, part of my weekly routine, fitted in around everything else. There is and should always be at least some time in my week to sit down and write my thoughts. To pour out the things that have been going through my brain and get them off my chest. That can be done at any time – on my commute to work, lying in bed at night unable to sleep, while I wait for my dinner to cook, first thing on a Sunday morning before the rest of the world wakes up. Pouring out the words is something that comes fairly naturally to me and is something I actually really enjoy. It’s not a chore, it’s not something I want to put off, it’s not something I’m too busy for.
I guess what I feel too busy for is everything else that goes along with just writing down those thoughts. I don’t feel too busy to tell you about the new outfit I wore the other day but I do feel too busy to spend a day photographing said outfit (or too ashamed to harass my boyfriend into wielding the camera on his only evening off) and then spend an entire evening editing pictures to get them to a point I’m happy with. I don’t feel too busy to bake something nice or cook a meal but I do feel too busy to spend an afternoon baking only to then spend another few hours styling that bake into the perfect food shot worthy of the blog. I don’t feel too busy to tweet or post a picture to Instagram or browse Pinterest but I do feel too busy to schedule a week’s worth of tweets directing you to posts, to snap a million flat lays and coffee shots so I’ve got one ready for those days I’m stuck in the office, and to pin every image from my blog to Pinterest and make sure it’s updated every day. I do feel too busy to read all the blogs I want to read, to comment on the posts of the bloggers I follow, to reply to emails from brands, to go to events, to work on projects and host blogger meet ups. I do feel too busy for all of that right now, and that is what is involved in blogging these days. Not to mention writing newsletters, youtubing, snapchatting, and periscoping.
I’m not complaining. I’m not saying I want blogging to simply be about writing again. I’m not saying I want things to change or go back. And I’m not saying I’ll stop or give up. I’m thrilled with the stage the blogging industry has reached and I’m stoked to be a part of it, however small. I love writing, I love my blog, I love being part of the digital generation, I love getting excited about a new social media platform or coming up with ideas for how I can grown my space. I love it all, and next year I can’t wait to get back to my blogging best. To throw myself back into it with gusto and embrace all of the things I mentioned above and more, just as I used to. All I’m saying is that right now it’s a bit too much. Right now blogging has switched from being my antidote to the busyness to being part of the problem. Right now it’s hard to manage everything. So I’m simply trying to manage some of the things. And what I can manage, is to write. To simply write. And so that’s what I’m going to do.
Today I looked at my blog schedule and saw there was nothing there – no post planned, about three from last week never started. Yes I could go and whip up a recipe for Chocolate Week, or photograph some pieces for a Current post, or call upon a friend to help me take an outfit post. And I’ll get to all of that, but today I figured I’d just chat. Chat about my weekend, my week so far and my worries. Pour out my thoughts and get things off my chest – because that I can do. That I have time for. That – is easy. So I guess this post is to say, please bear with me. To apologise if things aren’t as regular or as structured as usual over the next month or so and to let you know that I’m still here, even if I don’t reply to a comment or see you at that event or tweet as much as usual. So let’s just chat shall we?
This weekend felt a bit of a disjointed one for me – I was out working on Friday and again on Sunday and had Saturday and Monday at home. It actually worked well though, as I had a break in between and it kind of forced me to get on with things on the Saturday. GB was on his Stag Do and left for Slovakia for 12 of his mates at around 5am on Friday so I felt as if I spent the whole weekend being tired and playing catch up from that. It was a little like being on ‘Don’t Tell The Bride’ as we had practically no contact while he was away other than a couple of late night texts that read ‘I’m so drunk. I love you’. Luckily, despite joking about heading to a tattoo parlour on Facebook at one point, he came home with all his hair and tattoo free, just with an absolute stonking hangover. Instead I had the above face to keep me company over the weekend and if I’m honest it wasn’t a bad trade. This is Tito, GB’s brother’s dog. He’s a French Bulldog and he’s an absolute gem. Yes he’s grumpy and smelly, and sometimes looks at you like you’re a madwoman just because you want to take him once around the block, but he’s also hilarious, makes the silliest faces that you can’t help but love him for, comes to give you a cuddle just when you need it (entirely selfish of course – he just wants to sit on the sofa) and gets so ridiculously excited to see you when you come in the door that you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He made sure any notion of a long lie was totally out of the question on Saturday (even when he’s trying to be quiet his grunting and chomping and pacing are hard to sleep through) and so I took him out for a long walk around the park and wore him out while I picked up autumn leaves and branches for wedding DIY’s.
I think if he could talk, his Saturday would have gone a little like this:
‘On my holidays this weekend! Woke up real early as usual. No point in wasting the day, there’s food to be eaten! Went to wake up that girl I’m staying with but she was being really lazy. I mean can you believe she waited until 8am to get up and feed me? I know, shocking. I made sure I made plenty of noise for the two hours before that though, just so she’d know I was awake and hungry. Then came breakfast – AH-MAY-ZING! Definitely the most exciting part of the day, or is that dinner? I can’t decide, they are both equal parts exciting I think. Ah belly full, well fed – bliss. Now back to bed I think, I mean I did get up early after all. Sleep for a couple of hours, wake up when the girl brings out food but even though I look at her with my best puppy dog eyes she eats it all herself and doesn’t give me any (spoil sport). Cue more snoring, sleep really is the best. Awake cos what did you say?? Walkies? Oh YES I’m excited. I’ll jump around for a bit and run from one end of the flat to the other while she searches for that things that goes round my neck to show her how excited I am. Got my necklace on, time to bolt it out the door. At first I get to sniff around the streets – my usual haunt – pretty great fun. Mark lots of territory. Then things get even better – I’m off to the the park and my necklace is off!! I’M FREEEEEEEE… I’m running, I’m running, oh man I’m out of breath already and I’ve barely gone anywhere. Jeez the curse of having little legs and not being able to breathe much. Still, I’m free. Meet some dog mates, have a chat, sniff around each other, do some group running – good guys. One guy is particularly fun. I try to go home with him and his owner as they seem a bit more interesting than mine but the girl is back and is telling me I can’t (spoil sport). Ah well we’re off again, I’m marking LOTS of territory – I mean a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do right? I help the girl find some leaves and a big stick for her wedding. I try to eat the stick but she tells me I can’t (spoil sport) but then she finds me another stick that I can eat so it’s all good. I meet some lady dogs, do some flirting – nice gals. By now I’m pretty knackered, but she still wants me to walk further. I have to eat some grass just to get my thirst down, does she not realise how much running I’ve done? Finally we seem to be on route home, thank goodness I’m pooped. I do make her go the long way back to the house though just so I can walk past Nando’s – boy does that place smell good! She never lets me go in though. Back home, and straight to bed. Get myself into a proper deep sleep – the real good kind. Pretty sure I’m snoring really loudly but I’m sure she doesn’t mind. Only wake up because she’s got her jacket on again – surely not another walk? Oh no she’s leaving me – leaving me!! Again! Jeez can I just go one day without someone leaving me? Don’t have too much time to worry about it though cos I can feel myself falling asleep again…. zzzzz….. AWAKE!! What’s that noise? Someone’s coming in – she’s BACK! Hurrah hurrah, I’m so excited. Cue lots of jumping and running and general merriment. I get my ball cos I can sense she wants to play. But then I drop my ball because something more exciting has come along… FOOD! Dinner time! Definitely the most exciting part of the day, or is that breakfast? I can never decide, they are both equal parts exciting. Ah full belly – well fed – bliss. Back to bed I think, it’s been a long day.’
A day in the life, to be fair I guess mine wasn’t much different except that I wasn’t quite as excited about getting up so early. The long walk was great though and I did indeed do some foraging for the wedding before coming back and settling down with a film on in the background to make some paper flowers. I got some from the lovely Comeuppance who is a real talent. I met her at the Etsy wedding fair and fell in love with her work. They were surprisingly easy to make – just a series of folding and sticking which was the perfect Saturday afternoon activity – and look amazing when finished, I can’t wait to display them at our venue. I’ve reached the fist pumping stage of wedding planning now – for a while I seemed to spend a lot of time wallowing and panicking and telling anyone that would listen that there was SO MUCH TO DO and SO LITTLE TIME, but then not actually doing any of the things that needed to be done and letting even more time pass me by. Now I’m resolving to just ‘get sh*t done’ at any opportunity possible and ticking things off is making me feel a lot better.
On Saturday afternoon/evening I met a friend for a coffee and vented about all things life in general which was the best therapy. Having friends around during stressful periods is so so important. I didn’t really feel like going out but once I had I immediately felt better. This week so far has been about sorting out a lot of niggling jobs and attempting to alleviate some of the things that are currently stressing me out. Like searching for a new sofa bed ahead of my London Hen Do at the end of the month when I have all my Best Women and my mum coming to stay. Our one gave up the ghost a couple of weeks ago and since then I’ve been worrying about where everyone will sleep. Today I found an absolute bargain on Gumtree so hopefully we can go and see that at the weekend and sort that problem out. Sometime it’s the smallest problems that cause you the most worry right?
I’ve also got a hospital appointment this week (another thing that’s been at the back of my mind) – nothing too serious but just something that I want to get out of the way so I don’t have to think about it anymore. Why do these things always come at the same time, 5 weeks before my wedding I don’t really want to be thinking about hospital visits but such is life.
We have a totally free weekend coming up though, and one where both myself and GB are at home for once so hopefully we’ll get lots done then, including picking up a sofabed, choosing wedding rings (yup we still haven’t done that!) and staining a mountain of wood. I hate to bang on about the wedding so much, and make it the permanent excuse for not having any time but I know those who have been through this phase will sympathise. Why does it take up so much time? I have no idea but it does, and I’m at the final countdown now which is when everything starts to feel rather pressing.
So that’s my last few days – dog sitting, worrying and fist pumping. How was your weekend? Thanks for sticking with me to read what is essentially just a bunch of words thrown together. Having a blog post up has already made me feel better, even if it isn’t the most well thought out blog post in the world.