Well, we’re another year in to this whole marriage thing. Crazy huh?
The 21st of this month marked our second year anniversary, and saw us begin the journey into our third. When I consider that my parents are headed for their 40th anniversary next June, two years doesn’t seem all that far along the path at all. But still, two whole years since I nervously donned my dress, stepped out into the cold frosty air and
walked stumbled down our woodland aisle to my (then) fiance, ready to make him my husband? It’s madness.
While on holiday in October with Stu’s brother and his partner, we got to talking about the day and somehow found ourselves, a few glasses of wine in, re-watching the video of Stu’s brothers reading during the ceremony and shedding a tear or two as we did (well me and his brother mainly did the shedding). If only we could bottle up points of our lives and relive them whenever we chose, wouldn’t that be great? Because that was one of those moments – such a great reading, such a great feeling, such a great day. Sometimes I do find myself daydreaming about what it would be like to have a do-over of the day, now as we are two years on. To share the celebration with Evie, and to go into it knowing all we do now. But of course, I then remind myself that it would never be the same day. For starters, my post baby body would never in a million years get into my dress again – sigh!
We celebrated this year in a very simple way – a day away from work for both of us to enjoy a family day out to the seaside, a gourmet fish and chip lunch followed by a brisk walk along the pier, lots of cuddles with our wee munchkin, and finally exchanging gifts and eating cake from the car, while overlooking the cliff side views with a sleeping babe in the back.
It was different to our usual celebrations for sure. There was no night away in a fancy hotel, no getting all dressed up for a posh meal out, and no breakfast in bed after a restful nights sleep. But life is different this year. And as far as celebrations go, this one marked this new chapter of our marriage pretty well.
Because this second year of marriage has been a big one. An exciting one. A challenging one. An emotional one. A wonderful one. And at times a difficult one. One where we’ve had to work harder than we normally would have to remain a team, to consider each other, to help each other and to remember we’re on the same side. One where we’ve had to stop being selfish as a couple and allow our love for each other to be directed towards another person. Our person. Because two years in, it’s no longer just about the two of us – me and him, him and me. We’re now a team, a family, a unit, we’re no longer a two, we’re now a three.
Where my heart previously only belonged to one, it now belongs to two. Our second year of marriage will always be the one where we welcomed our little girl and our lives, our relationship and our world changed forever.
From the midst of months of sleepless nights, from the haze of that newborn bubble, from the monotony of our now everyday routine, it can be easy to forget yourself, to forget your relationship, to forget that you ever had anything other than your baby to talk or think about. Rightfully so, for the last 9 months, it’s not been about us at all and we’ve poured all of our love, attention and focus into Evie – which is exactly as it should be.
But at the same time, if there’s one thing in life which can bond you like no other, that can take the love you had for each other and intensify it ten fold, it’s creating life together. Going through the hurdles of parenthood and uniting through every tear, scare and worry. This year we’ve definitely not had as much time for each other, we’ve not had as much time to indulge ourselves or to share amazing trips, book last minute adventures or eat out whenever we please. We’ve bickered more than ever before, we’ve let sleep deprivation allow us to argue about meaningless matters such as who forgot to dettol wipe the high chair or sterilise the bottles, and we’ve been parents first, husband and wife second.
But no matter how tired we are at the end of the day, we always say I love you before we fall asleep. Since that one time we managed to reach 5pm without even giving each other a hug or kiss, we’ve vowed to always say good morning to each other before crawling out of bed to reach Evie and start the everyday routine. We’ve taken every opportunity of a grandparent visiting to have some time just the two of us. To get out of the sick and slobber stained pyjamas, put real clothes on and go out on a date. And granted those first few times were a sleepy breakfast, or a stolen hour to go for a zombie like walk where we mainly spoke about Evie and constantly checked our phones for updates. But they’ve progressed to long lunches, drinks, a day to ourselves on holiday to lounge on the beach and eat tapas, our first evening out and dinner date for Stu’s birthday last week, and finally our first overnight stay which is fast approaching.
I can’t pretend to know what the future holds. I can’t tell you that saying I love you every night will be enough to see us through to a 40th anniversary just like my parents. But I do know that we ended this second year of marriage stronger than we began it, and that I’m still very, very much in love with that ginger bearded man of mine and feel incredibly lucky that Evie and I have him by our sides.
So here’s to year three, to all that it brings, and to us only getting stronger by the day.
(if you’d like to read more about our wedding, or my previous anniversary posts, find them all in my wedding wednesdays series)